Life. . . from my vantage point
Some of the participants at the first meal of the HOTPOT CHALLENGE 2013!
I grew up as a picky eater. Then I moved to Asia. My eating habits had to change or else I would literally wither away to nothing. Then I met “hotpot”. It is a meal that espouses a wide range of opinions. To some, hotpot is a “meal of the gods”. To others, it is a culinary disaster. This is my story and the “competition” we have created around this unique local food. [Read more…]
Patrick Ku and I in the midst of one of my many awkward cultural blunders (details below)!
I cannot begin to count how many times I have made cultural and life mistakes while living in Asia. Pat Ku, upon moving to Asia gave me this advice regarding Chinese culture and the language. . . “however you do things/say things in America, do the opposite in Asia and the Chinese language”. Though a little overly simplistic, it was solid advice just the same.
As a result of this, I have come to embrace one of the most helpful life lesson I have learned by living and working cross-culturally. Whenever you enter a new environment, whether it be a new job, school, family, or in my case, country, FIRST notice what the local customs and norms are, THEN respond in all situations essentially in the same manner. This is THE fundamental skill in cultural and life adaptation.
This might sound as if I am endorsing conformity. Nothing could be further from the truth. At least not at a core values level. Your values will stand firm and keep you grounded where ever you go in life. However, styles, culture, and general ways people carry themselves around others will be different everywhere you go. In order to be heard [Read more…]
(This post is part of a series I am doing called “First Impressions. . . my first few months in Asia“. If you would like to read about this series and other articles, please CLICK HERE.)
Though not from that day, this is a typical local meal.
Coming from the south in America, hospitality is something that is valued to me. This isn’t just a saying, but a reality. My mother is one of, if not the best, hostess that I have ever known. She loves having people over. Some of my fondest memories as a child are of our house being packed with guests, laughter, tons of food, and Mom & Dad providing a wonderful environment.
One of the many things that I have loved about Asian culture is their value of hospitality. They are wonderful at it and place massive amounts of effort into hosting guests. Additionally, it is literally a Confusion teaching to honor and take tremendous care of foreigners in their land. The result is that these people have, by in large, gone out of their way to be good hosts me in every conceivable way during my time here. It’s been wonderful.
Though I have been in the homes of many of my Asian friends over the years, the following story is of the first time. Nothing dramatic during this day, it was just my first such experience so I went to greater detail in chronicling it. Many others have followed in a similar fashion. . .
I had met the managers of the local weight room on my second day in county. They were nice guys. Their English was limited to a handful of “weight room words” and my Chinese was non-existent at the time.
(This post is part of a series I am doing called “First Impressions. . . my first few months in Asia“. If you would like to read about this series and other articles, please CLICK HERE.)
One of the job hazards of living and working in Asia (for a foreigner) is sickness. Food, preparation and many other things make maintaining health a constant issue. As I often say, I really only have two states of heath here. . . I have a stomach virus or I am about to get a stomach virus. It has gotten much better over the years. I think this is both because standards of cleanliness have increased and my body is more acclimated.
However, my first few years were rough. This is about my first sickness and visit to a local Chinese medicine doctor.
People refered to it simply as “the East Asian Wall”. It seemed as if it happened to everyone that arrived in East Asia from America. It was as if after 1-2 months of living here, your body would just hit a wall and completely shut down. Body to self, “wait one minute. . . what is going on here?!?!?” The food is different, [Read more…]
(This post is part of a series I am doing called “First Impressions. . . my first few months in Asia“. If you would like to read about this series and other articles, please CLICK HERE.)
We did not look as good as this guy, but at least we had matching undershirts.
Within a few months of living in Asia, I appeared on national TV on three different occasions. This was my second such appearance and easily my most humiliating.
It was our entire group of six foreign students from America. The story began about two weeks after our arrival in this country. Our teacher informed us that part of our “cultural teaching” would be learning how to do this exercise named Tai Qi. You have probably seen this. It is the slow, almost hypnotic motions/exercise that you see being practiced mainly by elderly Chinese people. It is the exercise that looks like Kung Fu, but only in mega-slow motion. It was of absolutely no interest to any of us, but this was one of those “requests” from our university that we were not given the option of refusing.
What our teacher did not tell us was that we would be on TV doing this exercise with about 30-40 others during the National Day festivities. She also didn’t tell us that everyone [Read more…]
(This post is building upon my previous one titled, “My most awkward 20 minutes. . . and culturally rich weddings”. . . you might want to read it first if you have not already.)
Ed and Janelle Graham’s wedding and life are examples of the strength and beauty of bringing out the best in multiple cultures. (I am on the top row second to the right.)
I love seeing the various elements of culture which are present in weddings from different places around the world. It really is fun seeing the pageantry of differing customs brought to bear in the ceremonies.
Chinese weddings have a rich tradition of both elegance and in light-hearted humor intertwined in the ceremonies. I especially like how the Chinese wedding ceremony goes to great lengths to honor the parents of the bride and groom. There is a “tea ceremony” in each wedding. This is where it is as if the parents are put on a pedestal in the acknowledgement that they have been central in their child’s life up to this point in time. It is really nice.
Thinking about these experiences and in my life of 10+ years of living, studying, and working overseas, three thoughts come to mind. . .
A great example of this is of me at Marcus’ wedding (click here if you have not read it). This was a case of differences in cultures at play. I would be lying if I said it didn’t cause me stress. However, in the end, it was an incredible wedding of which I was honored to be a part.
Last year, I was in a wedding here in Asia. [Read more…]
This was at a local attraction my first few months in Asia (Patrick Ku is with me).
I moved to Asia permanently in 1999. At the time, I had no idea how long I would be here, only that it would be “long-term”. With the exception of a few US based years in the middle, I have been in East Asia since.
It has been an incredible journey of which there have been many ups and downs. Those first few months were packed with new people, experiences, sights, sounds, and lasting impressions.
As is the case with anything new, I wrote more about my experiences those first few months than I have in the past few years combined. This was a world before Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and everything we have now at our disposal.
Since there were no platforms to share those first few months with a broader audience than family and a few close friends, I thought it would be fun to write a series of posts on this topic. So. . .
During the coming months, I will write a series of posts on some of my FIRST IMPRESSIONS of living overseas. Most of these will be based on emails written during that time. I have since edited them and written in some perspective that I now have looking back at each experience.
Hopefully you will enjoy getting a closer look at some of the everyday occurrences and experiences of life in Asia as a foreigner though my first few months.
The following are the titles of the posts. I will probably add to these ever few weeks as other memories come to mind of which I would like to write up. So . . .
Also see. . .
This post is part of my series, “My thoughts on weddings. . . (a series)“. If you have not read the previous two posts, you can click here now to see them and read about this series.
This was Teddy and Carrie’s wedding party from last summer.
One of the joys that has been a result of both being raised in a diverse city like Atlanta and in the profession that I have chosen is I have been blessed by having friends from many, many cultural backgrounds. In thinking about the weddings I have been in, it’s not merely the amount or location. It is also a matter of the many TYPES of weddings of which I have participated.
I have emceed at Asian-American weddings, participated in ornate Southern rehearsals dinners, toasted hard liquor at Chinese wedding receptions, and dressed in Filipino traditional clothing at a beautiful wedding in Manila.
This was at Ed Graham’s wedding in Manila, wearing traditional Filipino wedding attire.
My favorite awkward wedding moment was at my friend Marcus Hinton’s ceremony. You have to understand, Marcus is a beast. Former state of Georgia football player of the year and four year starter at Clemson. He graduated and worked with college athletes full-time. His wedding party consisted of ALL division one football players in skill positions. . . and me.
Everything was quite standard until we literally got to the point of the wedding starting. The guests were seated and we, the wedding party were uncomfortably waiting in the foyer of the church. The music started and it was R&B Gospel music with a great beat. The wedding coordinator then informed us [Read more…]
Today in class (yes, I am still taking language class!), we studied several local parables. The one that stuck out is the one at the top of this article. The basic meaning in English is “if you don’t work hard when you are young and vigorous, you will suffer hardship when you are old.”
Parables are, by definition, short and packed with meaning well beyond the words. This parable has been used to motivate generation after generation of children to work hard and make good decisions so they won’t be tortured with with an awful life in the future. As my teacher put it, “if you waiste your youth, it’s too late! You can’t do anything about it when you are old.”
I like Chinese parables, I really do. The Chinese are particularly blessed with a rich heritage of parabolic literature that we in the west can only look at and marvel. This one, like all of them, has a [Read more…]
